Posts tagged Charity

This past weekend was my daughter's seventh birthday. I know that isn't a huge milestone, but there was a moment of note that occurred yesterday, that sprang directly from this birthday, which impressed upon me how my daughter is getting older, and how, thankfully, a lot of my cynicism and contempt for humanity has passed her by.

Due to the difficulty of buying for a seven-year-old girl whose main response when asked what she wants is "whatever you buy me will be fine, I'm sure", the wee one received some gifts of cash. Since she has informed us that she is learning about money in school, and since she seems so grown up, my wife and I decided to bring her in to Toys R' Us and let her buy something for herself with that money.

(On an aside, what is the official name of that store? When it was registered as a business, was it registered as "Toys "R" Us", as their website claims? Is the official name supposed to have a backwards 'R' in the middle? Does this mean that either the stores are incorrectly labeled, or every occurrence of their name in print is? Does this provide a legal loophole for them? Technically, their stores are not labeled the same as their official name, so they are not liable for any cases brought against them, or something to that effect? Isn't it embarrassing to have your official logo contain an error, on purpose or not? Isn't it a little condescending to kids to assume that they would fuck up their 'R'? Doesn't a backwards 'R' have no literal meaning, as the symbol that represents that letter and sound look exactly opposite? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.)

After much hemming and hahing, the eventual choice was a very typical Quinn-pick: a Barbie video game for the computer, involving fashion design. Quinn loves to design, and to customize. She is a bizarre dichotomy of tomboy and girlie-girl. She likes pink sporting equipment while she's acting like a boy. She's a ninja-princess. I couldn't be prouder.

The price of the game, after taxes, was still a couple of bucks less than the complete amount of money she had on her. The dude behind the counter, spouting his company-approved line, asked me if I wanted to contribute to the Hospital for Sick Kids charity thing, where you donate whatever amount you want, and get a lovely paper representation of a balloon to have your name on it and be posted in the store.

Now, those of you who know me, may be aware of my stance on charity. I am, generally speaking, against most of it. I don't believe in supporting something just because of the amount of sad, puppy-eyed kids in their brochures. I have a grudge against Children's Aid, and will not support them out of retribution. I don't aid Third World countries, as it has been proven that most of the money and supplies never make it past the evil military in said countries. And my feelings on the HSC (Hospital for Sick Children) has been one of equanimity — I spent a good portion of my young life there with my brother, dumping money we could ill-afford into equipment and medical bills, not to mention the fortune (comparatively speaking) we dropped in the shops in the lobby. We're even, it and I.

Meanwhile, back in Toys <backwards R> Us, Quinn was listening to the guy's spiel, and nodding frantically. I looked to her and told her that I was not prepared to buy the balloon since I was buying nothing today, and that she was allowed to do whatever she wanted with her own money.

So, she put the rest of her change into the man's hand, and bought a balloon. She scrawled her strange new signature (she thinks it's handwriting when you lose letters) onto it, and handed it back, proud of herself. And I, in an extraordinary act of self-control, said nothing.

Quinn still believes in the childhood axiom that good always triumphs over evil, and that the two are black and white. I get dirty looks when playing video games and trying to explain to her that when you yourself are the bad guy, you become, to yourself, the good guy, and the previous good guys are now the bad guys. She got angry with me on that, as it appears to offend her definitions of the world.

I have hope for my daughter, that she will rise above the cynicism of the world, but I worry that with that hope comes blindness to reality. I know far too many people who think that good has a lock on beating evil, and can't allow that sometimes, that's not the way things go. I leave charity to those who can afford it. Because frankly, despite keeping my mouth shut, I know that my daughter's $2 is not going to buy anyone a dialysis machine. In fact, it won't even cover the sales tax that the government will sleazily pull off this life-saving equipment. But I don't fear, because I know that each year, individuals donate millions to hospitals, out of their own selfish motivations for tax cuts. It all works out in the end, but not based on the simple naiveté that "every little bit helps".

Do I tell her? Or do I let her disillusionment hit her unawares one day, crushing her faith in everything she believes in? Cause honestly? I don't want the job.