And so, a new age begins for the JL page, in which I begin daily posts. Yeah, let's just see how long I manage that.

First, I think it only fair today if I begin with a report about my journey of discovery this weekend, and my exploration of familial ties, both genetic and sociological. To make a lot of mumbo-jumbo into a more palatable form: I met my sister on Saturday. Now, this whole affair has been nerve-wracking and confusing ever since the start. I wasn't ever sure of my exact take on things, and never really wrapped my head around the logic in order to determine what the hell I was doing. However, after the sit-down, after the discussion, and after further analysis, I have come to some fairly heavy realizations that I thought I might share.

First off — I think I was mistaken in looking at this as a situation that needed to be faced, rather than experienced. This wasn't about a deep-rooted issue that needed to be dug out, or some kind of trauma I needed to cleanse myself of. This was simply a man who failed and tried again, which was the connecting tissue between this family and ours. I've always been of the opinion that genetics don't make much difference to who a person is. People are a result of their environment, their experiences, and their growth from those factors. I discounted the DNA, mostly out of a luxury I didn't realize I was using. People always say that we are what our parents make us, but a majority of the time, we're simplifying and grouping things together. We're including both that our parents submitted our genetic material, which gave us our hair colour, but also that they raised us, which gave us our personality quirks. We forget that this isn't the case for everyone, nor is it the whole story.

Upon further examination, I've come to the realization that although both factors are important, I've always downplayed the genetic side since that tends to signify your predispositions, rather than being a done deal. Sure, if your dad is a world renowned singer, there's a good chance that you'll possess both a natural predisposition towards singing, with a good natural voice, but also being raised by someone in that line of work would rub off on you, and you'd likely have a love of singing. So it's easy to just say it's how you were raised. However, if the ability to be artistic, or athletic, or even just funny, can be traced back to genetic traits, wouldn't you be just as likely to become a singer, even if you were adopted by a farmer with no musical talent? Doesn't that matter?

I wasn't sure. I mean, going down to London this weekend was about meeting a girl and boy with the appellation "SISTER" and "BROTHER" tattooed on their foreheads. They were concepts, not people. And although Zach didn't come, and Sarah faced down our furious foursome alone, the line got blurry. No longer was this the sister that we'd never met. She became a collection of traits, quirks, habits, twitches and more. Little things popped out that I didn't expect. Her ears were the same as mine, which I only noticed because my one ear is folded over, and no one I've ever met had that, until my daughter came along. Her hairline was a strange wave that matched my sister Kim's. In fact, watching her and Kim talk was the best way to notice the similarities. And Berenice noticed that I had a lot of quirks as well in common.

When you discount environment, there is still the possibility of random chance playing a role. Maybe two parenting styles can result in a multitude of synchronicitious traits. Maybe there's not that much variety out there. But the simple fact remains, this girl showed traits and behaviours that I have only noticed in my family as belonging to my sister Kim, and now my daughter Quinn. Which makes me suspicious. It makes me slowly round that corner of skepticism and start on the path of becoming a believer. Maybe there IS a gene for sarcasm, and witticism. Maybe being deep is something you inherit. Maybe I shouldn't discount what my atomic make-up says about me! I'm not a full-fledged convert yet, but I'm slowly on my way!

For now, Kim is in the deep end, taking a swim around while living in the same city to see what she notices. I'm taking things from a distance, and seeing what happens. But I will admit, I had already thought in my mind that I was simply meeting a 20-year-old girl who, just coincidentally, happened to share some DNA due to the man who spawned us, and that the extent of our connection ended with that genetic spilling. However, I'm changed, slightly. I'm opened to the possibility that blood actually does mean something, in some cases. Maybe I can have a sister and brother I didn't grow up with. Maybe I can chalk up certain traits as passing naturally, and it explains why I never saw it growing up — because I simply ended up with the family I didn't get it from!

Either way, the lines are blurred, and my introspection is fired up. After all, for me, it's not about finding out what makes things tick, which, sure, is interesting. It's about finding out what makes me tick, which is fascinating. Everything I do ties somehow into figuring out who and what I am, and to ignore this part of myself, simply due to bad memories or issues about what a family is supposed to be, is akin to severing a limb just to appease someone else's sensibilities. And I'm not stupid like that.

So, as of this weekend, my family has grown. The extent is unknown, and will have to be examined. But my world just got a little bigger.